God's Instrument: A Mirror Named Eliana

"Blue Fish! Blue FIIISH!!"

I wasn't but fifteen minutes into the day and already dealing with a tantrum. Eliana was demanding that she be allowed to wear her "blue fish" outfit while her mean, unreasonable mother was pulling a perfectly nice denim dress with a cat on it over her head. Nevermind that the "blue fish" outfit has a button missing, that, due to the design of the outfit, I must completely undress her every time I need to change her diaper and that it is requested nearly every day (it and the "shark shirt" with "blue pants" take turns - we're convinced that Eliana's obsession with sea creatures will lead to a study of marine biology). I sometimes allow Eliana to choose her own outfit for the day, but other days I insist that she wear something that I pick out for her.

The whining, fussing, crying, screaming and squealing continued for many minutes. Being in Eliana's presence became most unpleasant, which, I'm sure, was her intended purpose. I just wish that she would fully realize that, even if I wanted to, I could never give in to her tantrums. What would that teach her?

There are so many simple truths I wish for my daughter to see and so many things I wish to give her, and yet, she persists in fussing over the smallest, most insignifcant matters. How much more could she learn and how much more could she be given if she would just stop her ugly behavior and trust me?

Being a mother teaches me so much about myself and my relationship with God. I know that I must, at times, be just like Eliana in God's eyes. I have to ask myself what I gain by acting that way and what I could gain by trusting in God. I must also strive to keep in mind how gracious God has been to me, a sinner. Oh, that I may show that same grace to my own child.

Lord, help me, I pray.